Yesterday I had a very low time in my life. I don't know why, but the insensitive comments of my siblings hurt me more than usual. I'm glad that I had a friend there for me to help me out of the slump (Thanks Maisha!).
I had been subconscious all day. I had woken up late and I didn't have much time, so I left the house with my hair...well, lets just say not looking its best. I was worrying about it all through school, and I was sure that everyone noticed that I looked like I had rolled out of bed and rushed to school, which is exactly what I did. I got home not feeling so good self esteem wise.
Then I got Christian mad. I'm not even sure what I first did, but soon we were at each other's throats. And whenever Christian gets mad at me, I can be sure that he'll get one of the others on my case as well. Yesterday it was Gabby. They started really pushing my buttons, and I'm ashamed to admit that I gave them exactly what they wanted...an EXPLOSION.
Later I was unloading the dishwasher when my mom and Lindsay noticed my unkempt hair and they made a comment on how I should take better care of myself. I know they were just trying to help, but I was already on my last nerve, and I had a meltdown. Of course I wouldn't let them see me cry, so I quickly finished the chore and rushed to my bedroom. I had a good cry and let all my grief out on my pillow. Gabby came in to bug me some more, but went away when I tearfully begged her to leave me alone.
Then, after I was done crying, I got in the shower and took the longest one I've taken in a long time. While showering, I listened to my "Pick Me Up" CD. Its a mix of songs my secret sister from a few Girls Camps ago. It always helps me when I'm in a slump. In the shower I tried to make sure there wasn't anything that anyone could say negatively about me. I couldn't get rid of some of it, of course, like the giant thing I call my stomach.
That's what really bugs me about myself. Most of the stuff wrong with me can be changed easily if I just put a little effort into my image. But no, I am just too dang LAZY! GRR!
Luckily I had a friend there by text to tell me how much she loved me. I am so lucky to have Maisha as my (Triple) Best Friend. I know that I can go to her with anything and she can make me smile. I LOVE HER SO MUCH!! She knows things about me that no one else does. She's seen me at my lowest and still sticks around, though I don't know why. I feel like such a crummy person when I see all the things she does for others. Maisha is one of the most self less people I know. I know that there is greatness in her and she will make her dreams come true, no matter what steps into her path. I look forward to the day when she gets back from Africa with her book and I go to the book store to get my copy signed by the author. Love you Maish!!!
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