Weightless

As you all probably don't know, yesterday was my half way mark. Today I'm closer to being 16 than being 15. This got me to thinking a lot about stuff and then it happened.

Last night, as my friends were leaving, I asked my bf if we could talk. I won't mention his name, so he won't get slandered or hurt, but all of you who know me know who I'm talking about. I had been holding out breaking up with him for the longest time. I had my reasons to break up with him, but I couldn't decide how best to do it. My mom finally convinced me of the easiest, most surefire way to do it. I was all for handing him a note and letting him walk away towards home before reading it.

But then I finally got up the courage and told him I wasn't ready. I really am not ready for a boyfriend. I wasn't doing anything right, and I know I was hurting him.

Anyway, he took it perfectly. So perfectly it was almost eerie. He assured us we could still be friends and we shared one of those awkward one-armed hugs. Then as we walked back towards the group, he commented that he was thinking about breaking up with me. I'm glad I got to him first. Even though I was going to break it off myself, I'm not sure of how him breaking up with me would have effected me.

When I got inside, I felt a marvelous high! I could do anything! I had gotten rid of my guilt and I felt like I was floating. It was so nice! When I got right down to it, getting out of a relationship is much better than getting into one if its not the right time or person.

I've grown in this experience by knowing that Heavenly Father answers prayers and that he gives his prophets guidelines for us because they are the way that will hurt us the least. I really hope that he and I can still be friends, but I don't know if that's in the cards. I felt too strongly for him before, it might get a little awkward. But heaven knows I'll try.